Creating Ties That Bind Saturday, Jun 28 2008

Yesterday afternoon, with a sink full of dishes, laundry needing to be done, and supper needing to get started, but I sat quietly on the floor. As I sat on the floor big sister brushed my hair. I had thousands of things I needed to be doing, but none of them was as important as spending time with her. Needless to say we ordered pizza for supper.

Every time I make time out of my day to do something she wants to do. I’m strengthening our bond of fellowship. I am still my daughters number one teacher and disciplinarian, but because of the bond that we have I don’t worry that when I discipline them that I’m going to alienate them. Each and every day I work at tieing strings of fellowship. I play games with them, sing, read stories, but I not only do fun things I include them in my work. They help me put clothes away and do the dishes, to them it is a game because we sing songs and talk about colors and see how high we can count. Big sister is already very familiar with colors and can count to nine.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says:

9) Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.

10) For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

11) Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? (I like this verse by morning both of our girls are in our bed. It is nice to know that it is biblical.)

12) And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

I think these verses apply doubly for families, this is part of the reason I love large families. I’m the oldest of six children with a half sister who is 6 years older then me. Let me assure you that when we all get together the laughter and the jokes never stop rolling. Growing up it was always amazing to me how much we could all accomplish when everyone pitched in to help, we were/are a force to be reckoned with.

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Restoritive Power of Spanking Wednesday, Jun 25 2008

This past week while on vacation with my family Big sister (2) tore apart several thank you cards that my youngest sister (13) had been getting ready to write. This was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak on my sisters emotional dam. Despite her best efforts to restrain them the tears started to flow. IT had been a long week and we were all getting very tired. She brought the cards into the kitchen to show my mom and I. I promptly spanked big sister and made her apologize. I then explained that she need to ask before she touched her aunties things, with that the situation was resolved and in the past. Their fellowship was restored they were once again best friends.

First let me explain what I mean by a spanking. A spanking is 2-3 swats on the upper leg if child has a diaper or on the bottom if not. It doesn’t have to be very hard, just enough to cause a little pain and discomfort. The redness should fade in minutes. I have found that the more often you spank you do not have to spank very hard to make your point. Spankings she be administered promptly with only one warning.

In the above story the two girls fellowship was restored because of a spanking. If I had only made big sister apologize without a spanking her, her aunt would have subconsciously punished her by depriving her of her attention and giving her the silent treatment. I’m a firm believer in spankings. They are biblical and help to purge a child of guilt, something that time outs don’t do. A time out might be a effective form of punishment but it has other side effects that do not come with spanking. I believe that we have a generation of adults who do not know how to handle conflict because of time outs. They have learned to give each other the silent treatment. While a child is sitting in in time out what he is really doing is brooding on how to get into more trouble. A spanking restores fellowship so that you and your child can get on to more fun things.

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Screaming Baby Tuesday, Jun 3 2008

The other day as my family were sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. A little baby started screaming for ice cream. She looked to be the same age as little sister, about eight months old. My husband looked at me and mouthed, “Would somebody please shut the kid up.” Big sister commented none to quietly, ” Baby screamin. Spank Her. She naughty.”  Her parents giggled at her and egged her on thinking she was being oh so cute. I have news for them in 3-5 months, when the baby is bigger they will not find the behavior nearly as cute. When they do finally decide that the savior is unacceptable they will have a much harder time breaking her of it. I’m not saying children should sit completely quiet but little sister sat there eating with out creating a scene. She knows that if she wants a bite she can vocalize to ask for it without screaming.

I understand that not everyone would spank a child so little, I can handle that. Rewarding a child with icecream to me was however completely unacceptable.  Babies are not as dumb as everyone thinks.  They can comprehend more then we give them credit for. They are very selfish and constantly looking out for number one.  It is all about what they want and what makes them feel good.

I think God in his wisdom gave parents a sense of humor and babies a cuteness factor. If we saw there first acts of sin for what they are big black sin. We as parents would be devastated. This however is not an excuse to let your children get away with there first act and experiments with sin. If we wait to correct the behavior when it is intentional and the child can reason. They will have perfected the art and it will be ten times harder correcting there bad behavior. If you stop it with a spanking the first time you will be able to correct the behavior mush sooner.

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