The women in my family have a very large emotional need that I like to refer to as the need to be needed. We like to believe that if we weren’t there the entire project would blow up and be an absolute failure. Having moved I am reminded that a church can function without my help. I’m replaceable!! The one place that can not function without me is my home. When I’m gone or sick the whole place often turns to absolute chaos. Even if it is just a quick trip to the store, of course at times it turns to chaos when I’m there.
Since we have moved, I have read Created to be his Help Meet by Debi Pearl. This book has changed my perspective on marriage and what it means to be a Godly wife. The first half of the book describes God’s perfect plan on how to be a wife and shows how God created men and women differently. The second half gives 8 rules to put God’s plan into practice. Following God’s plan is the only way to a heavenly marriage.
The first chapter has you make a list of ten things you would like to see change. I honestly had a hard time coming up with ten things I thought needed change. The first thing I wanted was for DH to help with the dishes at least once a week, I despise dishes. The other things were more standard you know more affection, better communication, you get the picture.
The most important thing in a happy home and marriage is thankfulness. A thankful heart produces joy. Bitterness and ungratefulness steal joy and spread quickly. As the wife it is my responsibility to make sure that we have a happy home. The old adage when mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy is very true. I have learned to be thankful for dishes because it means that we had food to eat. Dirty laundry because it means that we had clothes to were. When every cup, plate, and spoon is dirty and the clothes are piled high, however, it is hard to be thankful. In those moments I choose to be thankful for the simple fact that my DH chose me. Of all the girls he knew some who were prettier, some who were smarter, some who could cook and clean better. Of all those girls he chose me to be his own. This is something I can always be thankful for.
In just a few weeks I can’t describe the changes that have taken place in our home they are subtle and yet very real. It took DH six months or so before we washed a single dish, but it does not matter. I’m thankful for the things that he does do around here. So even if he never washes dishes again it does not matter because instead of focusing on what he doesn’t do I have decided to focus on what he does and be thankful for that.
